|"Guy Walks Into a Bar"|
|Season 3, Episode 10|
|Air date||March 20, 2012|
|Written by||V.J. Boyd|
|Directed by||Tony Goldwyn|
|U.S. Viewers||2.32 million|
"Guy Walks Into a Bar" is the tenth episode of the third season, and the 36th episode in the series overall. It was written by V.J. Boyd and directed by Tony Goldwyn. It first aired on March 20, 2012.
Raylan struggles to keep Dickie Bennett in prison while contending with an increasingly violent and unpredictable Quarles. Boyd's Harlan election comes to a head.
Deputy Sheriffs Nick Mooney and Ethan Bishop approach Shelby's truck in the middle of the night and are in the process of placing a package under the front seat when Shelby emerges from his house with a shotgun. Shelby tells the deputies to remove the package and leave. He said he admires their loyalty to Sheriff Napier and hopes that they will treat him as kindly when he wins the election for Sheriff — not that he'd ask such a task. "Everybody knows you're in Boyd Crowder's pocket," retorts Mooney. Shelby then explains that he is dying of cancer and only wants to make something of his life before his time on Earth is done.
Shelby then heads to Boyd who is impressed that his candidate held off two men with guns. Shelby admits the cancer story was a lie to convince the deputies that he didn't fear death. Boyd wants to hit back and takes Johnny's suggestion to track down Napier's sister. He heads to Limehouse to get the name and location of said sister. When that's settled, Boyd looks for a little insurance in the upcoming election for Sheriff. Harvey Jones, who is supposedly working for Quarles and Napier, enters.
Raylan, meanwhile, pays a visit to Judge Mike Reardon. Turns out that Dickie Bennett is on the verge of being released from prison. Raylan asks Reardon to push the case back, but Reardon insists that his hands are tied.
Boyd pays a visit to Sheriff Napier's sister Hanna. "You're running that man against my brother for Sheriff," says Hanna before explaining that she hasn't talked to her brother in a long time after he refused to take care of her medical bills. "I've come to offer you a job," Boyd says. Hanna appears intrigued.
Later, Raylan tries to convince Assistant U.S. Attorney David Vasquez to keep Dickie in jail, suggesting they cut Wade Messer a deal if he nails Dickie. Vasquez explains that Dickie is only in jail because of Messer's testimony that Dickie had the Deputy Marshal hung upside down in a tree so he could beat Raylan with a bat. Cut one free and the other goes free, too. Raylan swears. It appears that Dickie might just get those charges dropped, after all.
At Johnny's bar, Boyd and Shelby are awaiting election returns. Ava enters and explains that she has arranged for the prostitutes she has "inherited" from Delroy to provide sexual favors in return for votes. Boyd then gets a call that Dickie might be getting out of jail soon. Johnny wonders if Dickie is stupid enough to return to Harlan. "Yes, I think he is that stupid," Boyd says with a wan smile.
At the Marshal's office, Raylan welcomes Jed Berwind, who has been brought in from federal prison. Raylan explains that Jed initially said he saw Dickie pull the trigger in killing his stepmother Helen before recanting his story. "I need you to change it back," Raylan explains. "All I'm asking you to do is tell the truth." Jed explains that, years ago, his family had a conflict with the Bennett clan and his granny brokered a truce with Bennett matriarch Mags. So Jed's family owes the Bennetts. Jed then says that he'll only talk if his granny gives her approval.
Now Raylan has to go visit Jed's grandmother in a nursing home. She can't speak after suffering a stroke, explains a nurse. The old woman can only point at letters. "This debt you feel you owe the Bennetts is no reason for your grandson to rot in prison," Raylan explains. The old woman then requests two milkshakes, and when Raylan returns with the goods, she spills one in his lap and smiles as she takes a long sip from the remaining shake.
Back at Johnny's bar, Boyd gets a call. "Napier won," he says. The assembled crowd of Shelby supporters groans.
Quarles sits in Napier's office, sharing a drink with the newly re-elected Sheriff. Quarles "suggests" that Napier give him an office in the building. "I have to keep my eyes on things if we are going to make this work," Quarles tells the debious official. Just then, Harvey enters with Shelby and explains that he just realized that Hanna Napier is on his payroll. Nepotism laws being what they are, Napier is no longer eligible to be Sheriff. By law, the office will go to Shelby until another election can be held. "You know I ain't seen Hanna since she stole from momma!" Napier yells. Harvey explains that the law is the law.
Furious, Quarles exits the building to find the Crowder cousins sitting outside. "You know what you are?" Boyd asks. "You are a conquistador, but we are not your savages. And now you get to leave with your life... I hope you enjoyed your stay and you never forget who packed your bags." Quarles face tightens in a rage before relaxing into a broad smile. He's not likely to be leaving.
Back in Wynn Duffy's RV, Quarles pops a few pills. "How long have you been taking those?" a worried and wary Wynn asks. Quarles doesn't answer. There is a knock on the door. A teenager, Donovan, enters with a gun. He points it at Quarles and it soon becomes clear that the young man believes Quarles is responsible for his street hustler friend, Brady Hughes, going missing and likely having been killed. Quarles talks the boy down, explaining that his own father was a heroin addict who pimped him out to other men. When Theo Tonin caught wind of this horror, he offered Quarles the chance to kill his old man. The 14-year-old Quarles did just that. So, Quarles explained, he understood Brady only too well and only wanted to "set him free." Wynn watches in horror as Quarles, crying and shaking, pushes the muzzle of Donovan's gun away and embraces the confused teen.
Later, Quarles and Wynn enter the bar where Marshal Givens is drinking. Quarles, who is clearly high and drunk, makes his point plain as day. "I'm going to kill you, Raylan," Quarles says. "Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow, but someday you'll walking down the street and I'm going to put a bullet in the back of your skull." With that, Quarles turns to leave. Raylan points his gun at the ceiling and fires, getting everyone's attention. He orders all the patrons out. "Why wait?" Raylan says with a grin before suggesting an old-fashioned draw. It is about to go down when bartender Lindsey pulls a shotgun on Quarles. "Get out," she orders. "This is my bar." Quarles smiles and exits with Wynn. Moments later, Raylan, who had been flirting with her earlier, finds himself in bed with the woman as light from the bar room streams through the bullet hole in the floor.
The next morning, following another interlude with Lindsey, Raylan arrives at the courthouse for Dickie's hearing before Judge Reardon. "I've changed, your honor," Dickie says. "I have changed. Believe me." No one believes him, of course. Raylan takes the stand after asking to make a statement. "We all know what's going to happen if Dickie Bennett is released," Raylan said. "More blood will be spilled. Either his or someone else's." Raylan then calls Dickie a "thug" before changing course and telling Judge Reardon to go ahead and release the last Bennett son. "Maybe Dickie leads us to that Bennett money," Raylan tells Vasquez and Art after Dickie goes free.
News travels fast. Errol tells Limehouse that Dickie will soon be released. "Dickie sniffs around long enough, he's going to figure out where his mama's money is," Errol warns. Says Limehouse: "When he shows up, you bring him to me." Limehouse then selects a pig for the slaughter.
In Quarles' hotel room, the gangster snorts cocaine and is quickly unraveling mentally. He talks to himself, giving a motivational speech about achieving victory against people conspiring against him, before stripping naked. He enters the bathroom where Donovan is chained to the toilet in much the same way that his friend Brady in his underwear had earlier been bound and tied to Quarles' bed.
- Donovan - Friend of Brady Hughes who arrives to Harlan to avenge his death.
- Hanna Napier - Sister of Tillman Napier, bribed by Boyd Crowder to participate in a plan to ensure Tillman's removal from office.
- No deaths in this episode.
- Timothy Olyphant as Raylan Givens
- Nick Searcy as Art Mullen
- Joelle Carter as Ava Crowder
- Jacob Pitts as Tim Gutterson (credit only)
- Erica Tazel as Rachel Brooks (credit only)
- Natalie Zea as Winona Hawkins (credit only)
- Walton Goggins as Boyd Crowder
- Mykelti Williamson as Ellstin Limehouse
- Jeremy Davies as Dickie Bennett
- Jere Burns as Wynn Duffy
- Marshall Allman as Donovan
- David Andrews as Tillman Napier
- Jim Beaver as Shelby Parlow
- Rick Gomez as David Vasquez
- David Meunier as Johnny Crowder
- Stephen Root as Mike Reardon
- Richard Speight Jr. as Jed Berwind
- Demetrius Grosse as Errol Butler
- William Gregory Lee as Nick Mooney
- Jenn Lyon as Lindsey Salazar
- Neal McDonough as Robert Quarles
- Abby Miller as Ellen May
- Bonnie Burroughs as Hanna Napier
- Ezra Buzzington as Harvey Jones
- Karly Rothenberg as Nurse
- Potsch Boyd as Ethan Bishop
- Unknown as Grandma Berwind
- The title of this episode is a reference to the standoff between Raylan Givens and Robert Quarles in the dive bar. It was also previously mentioned during a conversation between Art Mullen and Bill Nichols in "Cut Ties".